{"product_id":"uturn-time","title":"Uturn Time","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eFor the friend who needs a hug, a time machine, and a reality check.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eWhen your favorite queer friend is going through a tough time—a bad breakup, a terrible week, or just a general existential crisis—standard sympathy cards usually don't cut it. You want to fix their problems, but you also know their luck is historically terrible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eThis card perfectly balances genuine support with dark, laugh-out-loud humor. Featuring a classic U-turn sign on the front with a sweet sentiment, the punchline on the inside delivers the exact kind of witty, cynical comfort that only a true best friend can provide. It’s a hilarious reminder that while things might be bad right now, at least it's not the 1950s.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eInside: \"but knowing your luck, you'd end up in an even more homophobic time period.\"\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Candlelight + Confetti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43822499594306,"sku":null,"price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0673\/4574\/3938\/files\/Screenshot2026-06-06040106.png?v=1780737310","url":"https:\/\/candlelight-confetti.myshopify.com\/products\/uturn-time","provider":"Candlelight + Confetti","version":"1.0","type":"link"}